This is for you mom

Today is March 14th..It is my mom's birthday. I have been thinking about her all weekend. I miss her terribly and I suppose I always will have a part of my heart that's empty ...(for now). As I was goofing around with my kids these last couple days I would sit back and watch them interact, noticing the funny ways they each go about things. Noticing their individual personalities and how each one of them deals with life made me laugh. I am sure it wasn't easy for my mom to raise us. I am sure she had many days she wanted to run and hide for a while. I know I certainly do. The thought came to me though, as I was watching them bowl..."mom, I wish you could see this.. look at how Ashton dotes on his sisters, making sure they get the ball going in the right spot. I wish she could help me as I drag Ashton off the floor as he threw a monster tantrum because I didn't give him money for the arcade. Family, especially moms, are the people in your life who love you when things are great and suffer with you when things are not so great. I wish I had paid better attention to how she handled Matt and his fits in the grocery store and of my stubborn, emotional attitude when I was a teen...She was the greatest of mothers. She was the greatest of women ,and I was lucky enouph to call her mom. It then occurred to me that she CAN see my kids growing and changing. She CAN see me struggle as I try to raise my kids without scarring them for life!! haha I know she's around and is laughing and crying right along with me. I love you mom, so so much. I hope in some way, I have made you proud and in the course of living , I am learning, learning to be more like you and more like The Savior. Thanks for being my mom and my friend.